Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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