I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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