he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize