but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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