This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
