**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
