Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
