I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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