Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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