just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
