ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
