"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
