how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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