I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize