Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
