he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
