My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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