his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
