Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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