so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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