I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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