You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
