next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
