Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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