i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
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The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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