My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
