your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
