Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
