Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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