Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
