So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
