Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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