I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
it glows. i had to have it.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
