I'm gonna have a badass scar
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
