Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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