Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
