Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
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