he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
