Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
