Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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