is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
