Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
His nipple licking is glorious
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