sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
