matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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