they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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