I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
