sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
