so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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