he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
