that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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