So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
someone owes me an orgasm
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
