so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
