You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
