Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
