Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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