dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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