The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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