the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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